Pondering the Future, just as Mr. Ramsay

While reading Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse, I was surprised to find that there was a moment in chapter six where I actually related to Mr. Ramsay. In general, I find the character to be a nuisance, however, in chapter six, his thoughts about making a lasting impact on the world are thoughts that often arise in my own head.

Like Mr. Ramsay, one of my greatest fears is that I will not make a difference in the world. I fear that no one will remember me, small Grace Lucas, in this giant world of Olympians, musical prodigies, and geniuses.

Of course, Mr. Ramsay and my thoughts are slightly different. He fears that he has not done enough in his life, as in past tense. I fear that I will not do enough in life, as in future tense. But overall, the thoughts are similar. The fear of being forgettable.

Like him, I am always pondering about the future. If he has reached Q in the alphabet of life, what is R? And if I have reached F, what is G? What is H even? The future frustrates me because I want to solve all of life's problems here and now. I want the future to come and I want to make something great of it, but I am puzzled as how to do that and I think Mr. Ramsay feels the same way.

Although these thoughts frustrate him, he consciously decides to just "do homage to the beauty of the world" (36), and I think that's a good way to live. He lives in the moment with his wife and children, and makes a decision to just accept his accomplishments in life (he got all the way to Q!) and appreciate his surroundings.

Reflecting on that, I believe it is a good way to live. Honestly, I do not believe I live that way at all - it is impossible today in this world, but I think it is a lifestyle that is under appreciated. The world today, especially the world of a senior in high school, is so focused on the future. Unanswerable questions are often posed:

"Where will you go to college?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Where do you want to live?"

"Do you want to have kids?"

Some of these questions are so preposterous, especially the latter, because they are so far ahead of where we are today, but they are topics of everyday conversation. The fact that an entire generation is living so far in the future scares me. What about enjoying where we are, instead of worrying about where we will be? To me, that seems like a better way to live. And although I may not live that way right now, I aspire to. I aspire to make that decision, just as Mr. Ramsay did. Even if it is just for a second, or a minute, or an hour, I hope to take a moment to look at the world around me and pay homage to its exquisite beauty that is so often missed in the hustle and bustle of society today.