Bravery in the Face of Conventional Stereotypes

Perhaps the most remarkable journey throughout the novel To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf is Lily's pilgrimage to finish the painting; a journey that is both literal and figurative.

Lily, a character whom we meet in the very beginning of the novel, is a blooming young artist. Despite her obvious talent, she cannot seem to ever find what is "missing" for her painting of Mrs. Ramsay, and therefore has trouble feeling confident in her artwork. She works on this painting throughout the entire novel and by the end, it represents how far she has come in her beliefs.

By completing the painting, she contradicts the typical gender stereotypes. Mr. Tansley in the beginning of the novel stated that women could not be good writers or painters, solidifying the expectations of the time period. However Lily completely disregarded this and finished her painting in the way that suited her. The journey of her actually painting it over such a long period of time really is the journey of her coming to accept her position as a woman artist, especially since this was not a common profession for women during this time period.

This journey is best portrayed through Lily’s feelings and thoughts surrounding her painting. In the beginning of the novel, she is very anxious about showing the painting to her male friend Mr. Bankes. She was worried about his reaction and how he would view it. However, by the end of the novel, Lily’s frame of mind had shifted completely. She went from worrying about what others, particularly males, thought of her art to not caring about the reactions that came from her work. She simply cared about finishing it in a way that truthfully depicted the subject from her own point of view.

This journey, which led to contradicting the prevailing gender stereotype, was particularly difficult for a woman during this time period. It took a lot of strength and courage for Lily to challenge the status quo, especially since it was so engrained into the minds of her peers. This inconceivable bravery is why I view Lily’s journey with her painting to be the most profound throughout the entire novel.

The Unknown Innate Desire for Intimacy

Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse had many relatable passages but to me, none more so than the following:

"It was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge" (51).

To me, this quote somehow describes something that every single human being desires for, whether it be known by them or not. I thoroughly believe that there is something intangible that every human being searches for, something that consists of love and intimacy and unity, as so eloquently written by Virginia Woolf.

I had yet to be able to put this thing or feeling into words, however while reading To the Lighthouse, I found them all laid out for me when I was not even looking.

However, I think everyone searches for it in different ways. Lily searched for it through her art, and Mrs. Ramsay through raising a family. Personally, I think I search for it through languages. I have an unexplainable love for languages, and reflecting on this idea, I believe that my love for languages stems from the idea that a language connects me to thousands and thousands of new people.

Although this idea is rather abstract, I believe that this "desire" is innate in every human, even the crazy outliers like serial killers. In fact, it is this desire that drives everyone to do what they do. Whether it is painting, or learning languages, or even destroying things. Everyone is just searching for that one other person, or that one group of people with whom they feel intimate or unified.

Pondering the Future, just as Mr. Ramsay

While reading Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse, I was surprised to find that there was a moment in chapter six where I actually related to Mr. Ramsay. In general, I find the character to be a nuisance, however, in chapter six, his thoughts about making a lasting impact on the world are thoughts that often arise in my own head.

Like Mr. Ramsay, one of my greatest fears is that I will not make a difference in the world. I fear that no one will remember me, small Grace Lucas, in this giant world of Olympians, musical prodigies, and geniuses.

Of course, Mr. Ramsay and my thoughts are slightly different. He fears that he has not done enough in his life, as in past tense. I fear that I will not do enough in life, as in future tense. But overall, the thoughts are similar. The fear of being forgettable.

Like him, I am always pondering about the future. If he has reached Q in the alphabet of life, what is R? And if I have reached F, what is G? What is H even? The future frustrates me because I want to solve all of life's problems here and now. I want the future to come and I want to make something great of it, but I am puzzled as how to do that and I think Mr. Ramsay feels the same way.

Although these thoughts frustrate him, he consciously decides to just "do homage to the beauty of the world" (36), and I think that's a good way to live. He lives in the moment with his wife and children, and makes a decision to just accept his accomplishments in life (he got all the way to Q!) and appreciate his surroundings.

Reflecting on that, I believe it is a good way to live. Honestly, I do not believe I live that way at all - it is impossible today in this world, but I think it is a lifestyle that is under appreciated. The world today, especially the world of a senior in high school, is so focused on the future. Unanswerable questions are often posed:

"Where will you go to college?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Where do you want to live?"

"Do you want to have kids?"

Some of these questions are so preposterous, especially the latter, because they are so far ahead of where we are today, but they are topics of everyday conversation. The fact that an entire generation is living so far in the future scares me. What about enjoying where we are, instead of worrying about where we will be? To me, that seems like a better way to live. And although I may not live that way right now, I aspire to. I aspire to make that decision, just as Mr. Ramsay did. Even if it is just for a second, or a minute, or an hour, I hope to take a moment to look at the world around me and pay homage to its exquisite beauty that is so often missed in the hustle and bustle of society today.